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I have been close companions for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered several challenges, which I admire. But, she's constantly caught off guard by others. Her husband left her, which came as a massive blow. Several of her friends drifted away at that point, because they seemed focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She made greater energy to be my friend, and must have grasped more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, and she left without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each stepped back from work leading to more each other more, but I am finding the part I play between us is as the audience. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect conversation onto what interests her. Regarding political views, she has strong opinions. I try to suggest factchecking and alternate views.

She is arranging a trip to a nation I know well on several occasions even called home previously. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was not welcomed. She really solely sought my agreement with her choices. I recently come back from a month in that country she hopes to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling in this role that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the impact of her actions on how I feel about myself. Right now, I am in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, however, that approach is seldom the easy answer we imagine. But confrontation aiming for a solution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing how things go when you talk. This needs to be objective and clear and basically what a recording device would replay. Step two is to tell how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no dispute about this. Emotions are valid, naturally. The third step involves requesting how the two of you can shift the dynamics of your friendship."

Consider she too has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method is telling your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

She might reject your concerns, since certain individuals cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they cannot abandon as it feels essential relies on it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge as there is no thoroughfare in such cases, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react this way then consider your perspective. And even if you never reach an agreement, you'll have closure that you've been open and direct.